Losing before cruising

Antigua — One of the 5 stops along our 10-day cruise in February.

My husband and I have decided we are going to go on a 10-day Norwegian cruise in February of 2020.

Just the thought of being seen in shorts, let alone a swimsuit is enough to give me heart palpitations.

Once again I have fallen off the healthy living bandwagon (and got ran over by it, several times.) Once again, it is time to climb back on and get my sh*t together.

I want to lose at least 60 pounds before setting sail. “Easy peasy” says my husband. HA. Definitely not easy peasy, but doable. That’s just under 2 pounds a week.

I need to come up with several shorter term goals between now and then — February seems like it is forever away, and I need to NOT wait until the last minute to get my act together.

I know how to do this. I have done it before, and I can do it again. Week 1 is all about getting my mind in the right place. Thankfully, my husband is right along with me and has goals of his own. Living a healthy lifestyle is alway so much easier when you have someone doing it with you. Misery does love company after all.

I know I can be good about going to the gym. I have a fairly light schedule this week to get back in the swing of things. It is ALWAYS my diet that proves to be the struggle. Our healthy meals are all prepped for the week, so that will eliminate having to grab junk food while I am on the run.

Any encouragement along the way is, as always, greatly appreciated!


Getting started again, again

2 day juice cleanse

I feel like I don’t post anything but announcements that I am starting again. It’s aggravating, but I just can’t seem to get going and keep myself going.

I have been feeling so horribly bad about myself lately. I don’t like how I look. I don’t like how I feel. My clothes are starting to not fit again. I hate having my picture taken. I need to do something before things get even more out of control.

I weighed myself this morning and after having lost nearly 70 pounds in 2013-14, I have put 33.8 pounds back on.


I need to do something now.

My clothes look horrible on me but I absolutely refuse to go out and buy a larger size. I need to get back into them.

I went to GNC over the weekend and bought a juice cleanse — something I have never tried before, but having talked to a few people who have tried it, I decided to give it a shot. I am not expecting miracles. I just want to feel better.

I am trying the GNC Total Lean 2-day juice cleanse, and hopefully that will help get my energy up and help me to not feel like a turd. Most of the reviews said it tasted terrible, so I prepared myself for it, but I honestly didn’t think it tasted bad at all. Kind of like apple juice. Basically you drink two bottles of the stuff a day for two days before meals. They also tell you what you should be eating throughout the day. I am going to stick to it somewhat, but I know that if I want to lose weight, I have to cut back on carbs, so I will be modifying the plan a bit. Hopefully I’ll have some kind of an update tomorrow.

I have posted on Facebook that I am starting over again, again and almost instantly got a response from a high school friend that she wants to eat healthier and get in shape, so we are going to help keep hold each other accountable. If anyone else wants to do the same, let me know. The more the merrier.

I know that in order for me to get with the program I need to write. It helps for others to hold me accountable, and it helps for me to do nothing but think about weight loss for the 30 or so minutes it takes for me to write so I need a favor from you. For at least the next two weeks, if you see that I miss a day and don’t write, call me out on it. If I am not writing, I am probably not doing well. It doesn’t need to be a long post, but it needs to be something. I think if I can do well for two weeks, that will get me on a pretty good start.

As much as I hate to do it, I am going to update my progress pictures either tonight or tomorrow so I can get a realistic idea in my head of how far I have slid backward.

weight loss

Double digits for the year


Weigh-in day today and I am down 1.2 pounds — more than I expected since in the past my second week back on my healthy lifestyle I either stay at the same weight or gain. A 1.2 loss I will take.

I was talking to my dad earlier today, trying to figure out why getting in the right frame of mind with my weight loss seems to be so difficult this time. Somehow I expected it to be easier, after all, I have done it before. I know what I need to do to lose the weight. I know I can do it. Why can’t I get in the right mindset?

I skipped out on going to the gym today because I was busy, I had shinsplints and sore arms. Excuses, I know.

I am hoping that continuing to write this blog, even on days I don’t really have much of anything to say (like today) will help get my mind in the right place.

I did work up the courage to post the progress I have made so far on Facebook this morning. Every time I post my blog to Facebook I get incredibly nervous about what other people will say. Once again I was surprised at how encouraging everyone is. Hopefully one of these days I will stop being surprised when I get support from others.


400, 300, 100 Challenge

OK, annoying may not be the right word — that’s just the jealousy talking, but I found myself looking around the gym today thinking pretty much this…

Welp, what I can only assume is the bubonic plague has made its way through my household. After about three weeks of being miserably sick and almost constant coughing, I finally felt good enough to start back at the gym yesterday.

Meanwhile, I'm over here like this...
Meanwhile, I’m over here like this…

I have a really bad habit of trying to make up for lost time by trying to do too much too fast the first time back at the gym.  I didn’t let myself do that this time. I started off slow yesterday by just doing an hour of cardio, 30 minutes on the recumbent bike and 30 minutes on the treadmill.

It felt fantastic to be able to get back to working out, both physically and mentally. I am almost always energized when leaving the gym, and I am always better on my food choices afterward because I don’t want to undo all the work I did.

I even managed to make it back two days in a row, logging 20 minutes on the bike, 20 minutes on the treadmill and some arm exercises. I am still no where near where I was before I fell off the fitness wagon (and was subsequently run over several times by said wagon several times). I am happy with today because exactly zero percent of me wanted to work out today, so getting anything in was a minor victory.

I am a member at the local YMCA, and they have started a 400, 300, 100 mile challenge for 2015. They are challenging members to walk/run 400 miles, or bike 300 miles, or swim 100 miles over the course of 2015. I am hoping to do all three. The swimming will be the hardest part. I will be logging my progress on this blog (probably on a weekly basis).

Progress so far:
Bike, 8.13 miles — walk, 1.64 miles — swim 0 miles.

I would love it if any of you wanted to join me!

I have also started wearing my FitBit again, which really does help to motivate to get those extra steps in.

Weigh in day tomorrow. I am not expecting to lose any weight, I rarely do my second week. As long as the scale doesn’t go up, I will consider this week a success.


2014: The year of the good, the bad, and the ugly


Between February-June 2013 I managed to lose 69 pounds. I was feeling and looking better than I had in a very long time.

Then life happened.

In the last year I lost a good friend of mine. I fell in love with a great guy. Got a new job. Moved 6 hours away from my family for the job and the guy. Had some medical issues that required surgery and about 6 weeks of recovery time. We bought a house. I have been learning to be a step-mother for two amazing children.

A lot of amazing things have happened. A lot of not-so-great-things happened. A couple horrible things happened. Whether it was the good, the bad, or the ugly, it was all stressful.

This morning, after spending the last year dieting, not dieting, working out, being lazy, I stepped on the scale for the first time in a while and was not happy about what I saw. I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, but I wasn’t prepared for the number looking back at me.

I managed to put nearly half the weight I lost back on. It was depressing.

Cottage Cheese Catastrophe
The container of cottage cheese didn’t fair so well in my lunch bag. At least I’ll only have to count half of those calories.

The BF and I decided last week we both needed to start working out and eating healthy again. I spent a good chunk of the day Sunday doing meal prep for the week, making the food necessary to accommodate both of our diets. He can eat more than twice as much as I can in a  day and still lose weight. Lucky bastard. 😉

It is only baby steps, but so far, I have managed to ignore the mammoth box of chocolate covered cherries sitting on the break room table. I’ve been sitting at my desk munching away on my portioned packs of dried soy beans and raw sliced peppers. The container of cottage cheese didn’t fair so well in my lunch bag. At least I’ll only have to count half of those calories.

So here I am again. Starting over again. Again.

I need to make sure this time I keep writing, to hold myself accountable and to give myself nothing to do but think about my diet, exercising and living well for at least a half an hour a day. I need to get in the selfish mode again, where I make the time to go to the gym, eat right, not give in to temptations. I know I can do this, I have done it before. The next week will be the hardest, but I have to do it.

Tonight, regardless of how tired I am, I am going to the gym. I am going to respect my current limitations (the cold that everyone and their mother has) and I am going to at least walk on the treadmill or ride the bike. I am going to do something to get myself moving in the right direction.

And I am going to do it for me.


Sweet new kicks


I went shopping with my mom today so she could get some new shoes. After not being able to find a second pair for herself, she had me pick out a new pair. Since I have been wearing the same pair of running shoes since March, I decided it was time for a new pair. I picked out the color run inspired pair of Asics that make my feel feel like I am walking on the clouds. People will definitely be able to see me coming walking down the road!

I didn’t get a chance to use them today. I haven’t quite been able to acclimate myself to New England Winters yet and there was a -2 degree windchill when I checked today so spending much time outside wasn’t in the clouds for me.

Even though I didn’t exercise today (unless competitive grocery shopping counts as working out), I wasn’t too bad on my diet. I was so busy running errands all day I didn’t really eat anything until dinner, and that was my only meal. I know it isn’t ideal, but at least I didn’t overeat, which at this point for me is an accomplishment.

I am going to bring a spare change of clothes with me to work tomorrow, hopefully I will be able to go on a walk and get a it of a workout in on my lunch breaks.

Right now I am only working part-time, 12 hours a day with an hour commute each way, so getting really good workouts in on those two days probably isn’t in the cards for me, but hopefully I will be able to make up for it the other days of the week.

Thanks again for all of the supportive messages you all left on my last post, I really appreciate it!


Fall down seven times, get up eight?


So it has been about four months since my last blog post, and a lot has changed in that time. They worst of those changes certainly being my diet and exercise habits. Not only have I fallen off the healthy living bandwagon, I’m pretty sure the damn thing has run me over. Repeatedly.

In the last few months I have eaten completely terribly, stopped taking care of myself, haven’t blogging and I honestly can’t remember the last time I got in a good workout. I’ve also put on 15 pounds I worked so hard to lose.

Now, there is no way in hell I am going to be able to meet my goal of losing 100 pounds in 2013, but I keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter how long it takes me to lose it, as long as it happens.

I know I need to start healthy living again, but right now it seems like it is an impossible task.

My first step was sitting down at my computer and writing this blog post. Writing every day here was so helpful, not only to get my thoughts and feelings out, but to read all of your blogs as well. It was inspiring. I need to start doing bot of these things again. Every day.

I sat down not knowing what I was going to write in this post. I guess I am writing to ask for your help. I need your help and encouragement to get myself going on the right track again. Every little bit helps.

Goals · Health · weight loss

A devistating blow

It fits.
It fits.

Early Sunday morning I received devastating news that one of my good friends passed away, from what we now know was a brain aneurism. I was completely heartbroken.

Chris was by far one of the healthiest people I know. He ran 5+ miles a day, ate right, didn’t smoke and didn’t drink much. It just didn’t make any sense. He should have lived until he was 110.

He was also one of my biggest sources for help when I started this weight loss journey. Even though he lived 100 miles away from me in St. Louis, several times a month he would make the trek out to Rolla to work out with me, he would listen to me when I got frustrated and needed to vent, and was a constant source of motivation. Those first few months would have been so much more difficult without his support.

Of course, he was also one of the biggest reasons I was so sore I couldn’t move in the beginning as well. I’ll never forget getting in my car after doing his prescribed arm workout for the first time on my own. I was instantly so sore, I could barely move my arms enough to turn the steering wheel. His solution to me, “If you’re too sore to drive home from the gym, walk.”


He was constantly telling me how proud of me he was, and that really meant a lot to me because I knew he meant it. Days before I moved home to Massachusetts he gave me a new, red St. Louis Cardinals tank top. It was skin tight and not even close to fitting. I packed it away in the back on one of my drawers and forgot about it. Yesterday I was looking for something to wear around the house and came across the tank top. I decided to try it on again. Tears started streaming down my face when I realize that this time, it fit.

I felt like he was cheering me on one last time, letting me know that I can do this.

I know I need to keep doing this now, not only for myself, but because he would want me to finish my goal. For right now though, I just need time to be sad.

Fitness · Humor · weight loss

I think I may have died

If someone could help me up off the ground, that would be fabulous.
If someone could help me up off the ground, that would be fabulous.

Between half an hour at the driving range and 90 minutes at the gym, I think I may have died today.

I’ve been finding it pretty difficult lately to find motivation to eat right and exercise lately. Today, something finally clicked and I am feeling much better. Hopefully my new motivation sticks around for a while.

I have gone to the driving range a few times since I have been back in Massachusetts (golfing is one of my very favorite things to do). Now that I have lost a bunch of weight, my golf swing is drastically improving. I can’t wait to actually hit a round rather than sticking to the range.

I went and hit a bucket of balls this afternoon on the way to work out (the range is conveniently located less than a mile from the gym). Well, it was 95 degrees outside and by the time I was done with the bucket, I was a hot mess. I don’t think I have ever been that hot and sweaty walking IN the gym doors.

After having a miserable cold and not being able to do much cardio all week, I was feeling better today so I hit the dreaded treadmill. I managed to run 5 minutes straight two different times (with 5 minutes of walking in between.) Then I did 15 minutes of walking uphill at max incline. What felt like a million squats, a good core workout, and the 30 day ab challenge later, I’m already sore — but a good sore.

It will be a miracle if I can walk tomorrow.

Diet · Fitness · Goals · Health · weight loss

Six month update

July 3

Despite being stuck for the last six weeks or so, in the last six months I have managed to lost 60 pounds.  I’m also down 8-10 clothes sizes depending on the store.

Hopefully I can get off this stinking plateau soon because I am starting to get pretty discouraged. Hopefully if I start blogging more again it will help. If nothing else, I guess it couldn’t hurt.

Here are my pictures from March. I still wish I took some at the very beginning of this process.

Forty pounds to go to reach my goal for 2013.

Beginning of March, 2013
Beginning of March, 2013