Day 3 — Why am I not skinny yet?

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Three days down — eating right and working out, and I am still not skinny. Honestly, it’s rude. I have put in a solid three hours in the gym in the last two days yet no progress can be seen. Malarkey.

All kidding aside, I have doing pretty well the last few days — which are always the hardest. Despite a busy schedule, I have gotten to the gym, and have no excuse not to tonight. I have eaten well (although I do sneak the occasional chocolate covered pomegranate from the jar on a coworkers desk from time to time. But I’m OK with it.

As most who are reading this know, I have done a LOT of diets over the years. They all work to varying degrees. I have tried Atkins, Keto, strict meal plans, low fat, basically if there is a weight loss plan out there, I have probably tried it. And yes, they all work.

In general, as long as you are burning more calories than you are taking in, you will lose weight — so that’s what I am working on. I also know that my macros will help determine how quickly I will lose the weight, so over the next couple months I will be trying to narrow down what that breakdown will look like.

In all of my experimentation I have done with healthy eating and working out, I have discovered that one thing doesn’t work for me — a super strict diet with no wiggle room. Now let me clarify what I mean. When I followed that diet, I did lose weight, quite a bit in a short timeframe. For me though, it just wasn’t sustainable. I need a lifestyle change where 90% of the time I eat well, but there is some wiggle room. Does this mean I will lose weight more slowly? Probably. But hopefully it will allow me to stick to it, and not fall off the wagon completely.

What are some diet tips and tricks you have found works for you?

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Losing before cruising

Antigua — One of the 5 stops along our 10-day cruise in February.

My husband and I have decided we are going to go on a 10-day Norwegian cruise in February of 2020.

Just the thought of being seen in shorts, let alone a swimsuit is enough to give me heart palpitations.

Once again I have fallen off the healthy living bandwagon (and got ran over by it, several times.) Once again, it is time to climb back on and get my sh*t together.

I want to lose at least 60 pounds before setting sail. “Easy peasy” says my husband. HA. Definitely not easy peasy, but doable. That’s just under 2 pounds a week.

I need to come up with several shorter term goals between now and then — February seems like it is forever away, and I need to NOT wait until the last minute to get my act together.

I know how to do this. I have done it before, and I can do it again. Week 1 is all about getting my mind in the right place. Thankfully, my husband is right along with me and has goals of his own. Living a healthy lifestyle is alway so much easier when you have someone doing it with you. Misery does love company after all.

I know I can be good about going to the gym. I have a fairly light schedule this week to get back in the swing of things. It is ALWAYS my diet that proves to be the struggle. Our healthy meals are all prepped for the week, so that will eliminate having to grab junk food while I am on the run.

Any encouragement along the way is, as always, greatly appreciated!

Another 5K in the books

Yesterday, my husband and I both finished the local YMCA’s St. Patrick’s Day 5K Run/Walk. He did the run and I did the walk.

I have done other 5Ks in the past, but this one was a little bit different for me.

A couple months ago I told my trainer I intended on working on the couch to 5K (again) and trying to run this one instead of doing my normal 90 minute workout with him. He told me that I would be better off doing the workout because I would burn calories for longer after the workout was over than if I ran.

So I decided to do the workout.

When I heard my sister in law and husband both intended to do the run, I decided I would register, and if I was feeling good enough after the workout, I would do the walk.

I wasn’t feeling so great after the difficult workout, but I decided to suck it up and do the walk anyway.

It was extremely hard. I regretted doing it before I even took the first time. I also regretted wearing my brand new running shoes.

As I winded my way through town, I had to talk myself out of stopping at friends houses along the route and begging them to drive me back to my car.

I was tired, sore from the workout, my feet hurt, and I was getting shin splints with every step. Around the 2 mile walk I texted my husband, who i was confident had already finished his run.

Me: My back hurts so bad.

Him: Walk

Me: That’s all I have done

Him: U got it. Where are you?

About 5 minutes later I see him walking up the street toward me. Honestly, I was fighting back tears. Now I knew there was no way I wasn’t going to finish. He wouldn’t let me.

He walked the rest of the way with me, and made me jog the last 1/10 of a mile or so.

To say I was dusted at the end is quite the understatement.

It was far from my best 5K time ever, but with the exception of my first ever race, it was the one I am most proud of for finishing.

I am also INCREDIBLY proud of my husband and sister in law for each finishing in under 28 minutes.

Living a healthy lifestyle isn’t always easy, but it is so much better when you have company!

An inspiration? Who… ME???

I always find it strange when people say I am inspiring them to live a healthier lifestyle. After all, who on earth would want to follow in my footsteps? I’m a 30-something woman with over 100 pounds to lose.

Might as well put me on one of those motivational posters!

Oddly enough, I have been getting that more and more lately. I find myself at the beginning, again, and again, and again, of what is going to be a very long (lifelong) journey for me. For me to be an inspiration to others comes with some amount of pressure.

I want to be one of those people who, two years and 100 pounds down the road, can look at someone starting their journey and say “If I can do it, YOU can do it.”

But frankly, I am still worried I will never get to that point. Part of me knows if I stick to it long enough and don’t give up, I will succeed. But there is always that nagging part of me that knows I have failed each and every time up to this point. Maybe I am only kidding myself that this time will be any different.

Today I had to leave one of my workout classes because my back just wasn’t holding up. It was hurting and threatening to go out on me. I wanted to push through the pain and finish the 30 minute workout, but my trainer sent me home.

Part of me is very disappointed in myself that I quit. The other part of me is glad I left. In the past I probably would have pushed through and potentially hurt myself. All it is going to take to potentially majorly derail my progress is to have my back go out on me and be sidelined from the gym for two weeks. At this point, I can’t lose momentum, even if that means not finishing one workout.

I was feeling pretty down when I got home. Then I got a perfectly timed text from a friend saying she has been reading this blog, watching on Facebook, and following my journey. She let me know she joined a gym a week ago and has not skipped a day in nearly a week.

SO AWESOME!

I was thrilled and so proud of her.

In the last couple weeks, I have had a couple other people let me know that I have inspired them to change their own lives. They may not all be the biggest changes, but they are something. Whether it is passing on the office baked goods being passed around, parking at the back of the parking lot instead of the front, or drinking water instead of soda, little changes add up.

I wish it were as easy for me to recognize and take pride in the changes I have made in my own life as it is for me to recognize when others do the same.

I’ve been told I am my own worst critic… and aren’t we all? Something else for me to work on. For now, I am just going to keep on going.

Tomorrow’s another day, one with my favorite new class at the gym, but more about that another day.

Progress Photos

After a couple weeks of waiting, I got my photos from before and after the first shred back yesterday.

I wasn’t impressed.

In all honesty, I spent about three hours in tears — that not impressed.

Looking at the photos, it was hard for me to tell which was the before and which was the after. After some careful consideration, I could tell I had lost a few inches off my stomach, but that was about it.

I just keep telling myself that I didn’t put the weight on overnight, I can’t be expected to lose it over night.

For as hard as I have been working, I was hoping to see a little more of a dramatic difference. Hopefully the next set of photos is more noticeable.

Sweating for the Wedding

It wasn’t all that long ago I didn’t think that anyone would ever be able to look past my weight enough to want to be with me. So I set out to lose it.

60 Pounds later I started to feel more confident with myself, proud of what I had accomplished, and happy. I think that happiness was evident, and not long after, I got together with an amazing man.

He loved me for who I was and didn’t care that I was overweight. I was blissfully happy. And I started putting the weight back on. 50 of the 60 pounds I had lost, to be exact.

A few months ago I realized how much weight I had put back on and started working to take it back off. I am happy to report that my total weight loss is back up to 52 pounds.

A week and a half ago, that amazing guy I mentioned asked me to marry him.

I said yes.

If getting married isn’t a great reason to become healthy and look better than ever, I don’t know what is.

I am blogging again to help keep myself accountable. Hopefully it helps, I am going to need all of the assistance I can get if I don’t want to look like a giant marshmallow walking down the aisle.

Our wedding is September 9 of this year. My goal is to lose an additional 60 pounds before then. That’s 32 weeks. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

 

Inspiration on the go

I am going to keep this short and sweet. I saw this video come up on my Facebook newsfeed and it was nothing short of inspiring.

Watch it.

That is all.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.yahoo.com/amphtml/beauty/this-womans-weight-loss-time-lapse-video-is-seriously-inspiring-153334876.html?client=safari#

It’s hard, but it’s worth it. I think?

There are days I look forward all day to going to the gym and working out, there are even days I get up first thing in the morning and go before work. There are days I truly like being there.

Today was not one of those days.

Today I had to drag myself, kicking and screaming, but I went. I particularly dread going to the gym on running days, I still haven’t reached the point in my training that it is fun — at all. But people keep assuring me I will get there. We’ll see.

Thursday I started Week 3, day 1 of the Couch to 5K program, and while I did better than I expected, I wasn’t able to make it through all of the running parts. Today, however, I did! I was pretty pumped. Even though I was dreading going, that feeling made it worth it.

Of course that isn’t making me dread Monday’s run any less.

I think I am starting to get my diet back under control after my slip ups while traveling. That is, and probably always will be, the hardest part.

I wish it were easier to think of the milestones that made me proud of myself before I slip up on the diet. I just need to keep reminding myself that in the long run it will be worth it.

Today’s weigh in had me down 6.2 pounds this week, which I was thrilled about, so overall now I am down 33.2 pounds. I would like to lose another 67 this year, which will me hard, and maybe not possible, but that is my goal.

Making slow, painful progress

There are only so many times one can say “I am starting over again, and this time I am going to succeed” before people stop believing you.

I crossed that line several times ago, yet here I am again.

That’s why this time I wanted to wait until I really got the ball rolling and accomplished something before I post anything on here.

It has been seven weeks today since I started the lifestyle change (again) and I feel like it is time to start writing about it again since it seems to help quite a bit.

Even though I have been at this a while again, the weight isn’t coming off as quickly as I would like (not that it ever does). I am down 13 pounds, but honestly I could definitely be doing better on my food choices, so it is my fault the numbers on the scale aren’t dropping as fast as I would like.

There were two weeks in the middle that I was travelling the whole time, the first week I was in Chicago and managed not to be completely awful on my diet, and was very active exploring the new city.

The second week visiting my parents, wasn’t so pretty. That’s behind me though, and here I am again

I have been pretty good about making it to the gym on a regular basis, despite my busy schedule. Even though I can’t see any difference in my body, I am definitely getting stronger and my endurance is getting better.

I started the Couch to 5 K program again a couple weeks ago. It isn’t easy, it’s slow going and it’s painful and tiring, but slowly I am improving. Today I did week 3, day. I couldn’t quite do 100 percent of the running portions, but I did better than I expected. When I first started a couple weeks ago I seriously struggled to get through the first workout — like, I couldn’t to it. Looking back on that makes me feel better about what I have done in a fairly short amount of time.

My goal is to be in shape enough to jog the YMCA’s Turkey Trot 5K in November. I have set this goal before, and have never succeeded, but hopefully I will this time.

Only time will tell.

 

Getting started again, again

I feel like I don’t post anything but announcements that I am starting again. It’s aggravating, but I just can’t seem to get going and keep myself going.

I have been feeling so horribly bad about myself lately. I don’t like how I look. I don’t like how I feel. My clothes are starting to not fit again. I hate having my picture taken. I need to do something before things get even more out of control.

I weighed myself this morning and after having lost nearly 70 pounds in 2013-14, I have put 33.8 pounds back on.

Unacceptable.

I need to do something now.

My clothes look horrible on me but I absolutely refuse to go out and buy a larger size. I need to get back into them.

I went to GNC over the weekend and bought a juice cleanse — something I have never tried before, but having talked to a few people who have tried it, I decided to give it a shot. I am not expecting miracles. I just want to feel better.

I am trying the GNC Total Lean 2-day juice cleanse, and hopefully that will help get my energy up and help me to not feel like a turd. Most of the reviews said it tasted terrible, so I prepared myself for it, but I honestly didn’t think it tasted bad at all. Kind of like apple juice. Basically you drink two bottles of the stuff a day for two days before meals. They also tell you what you should be eating throughout the day. I am going to stick to it somewhat, but I know that if I want to lose weight, I have to cut back on carbs, so I will be modifying the plan a bit. Hopefully I’ll have some kind of an update tomorrow.

I have posted on Facebook that I am starting over again, again and almost instantly got a response from a high school friend that she wants to eat healthier and get in shape, so we are going to help keep hold each other accountable. If anyone else wants to do the same, let me know. The more the merrier.

I know that in order for me to get with the program I need to write. It helps for others to hold me accountable, and it helps for me to do nothing but think about weight loss for the 30 or so minutes it takes for me to write so I need a favor from you. For at least the next two weeks, if you see that I miss a day and don’t write, call me out on it. If I am not writing, I am probably not doing well. It doesn’t need to be a long post, but it needs to be something. I think if I can do well for two weeks, that will get me on a pretty good start.

As much as I hate to do it, I am going to update my progress pictures either tonight or tomorrow so I can get a realistic idea in my head of how far I have slid backward.