Posted in Uncategorized

Sweating for the Wedding


It wasn’t all that long ago I didn’t think that anyone would ever be able to look past my weight enough to want to be with me. So I set out to lose it.

60 Pounds later I started to feel more confident with myself, proud of what I had accomplished, and happy. I think that happiness was evident, and not long after, I got together with an amazing man.

He loved me for who I was and didn’t care that I was overweight. I was blissfully happy. And I started putting the weight back on. 50 of the 60 pounds I had lost, to be exact.

A few months ago I realized how much weight I had put back on and started working to take it back off. I am happy to report that my total weight loss is back up to 52 pounds.

A week and a half ago, that amazing guy I mentioned asked me to marry him. 15940398_10154027230706401_6406907304971660780_n-4-37-24-pm

I said yes.

If getting married isn’t a great reason to become healthy and look better than ever, I don’t know what is.

I am blogging again to help keep myself accountable. Hopefully it helps, I am going to need all of the assistance I can get if I don’t want to look like a giant marshmallow walking down the aisle.

Our wedding is September 9 of this year. My goal is to lose an additional 60 pounds before then. That’s 32 weeks. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.


Posted in Uncategorized

Inspiration on the go

I am going to keep this short and sweet. I saw this video come up on my Facebook newsfeed and it was nothing short of inspiring.

Watch it.

That is all.

Posted in 5K, Diet, Fitness, Uncategorized, weight loss

It’s hard, but it’s worth it. I think?

There are days I look forward all day to going to the gym and working out, there are even days I get up first thing in the morning and go before work. There are days I truly like being there.

Today was not one of those days.c25k

Today I had to drag myself, kicking and screaming, but I went. I particularly dread going to the gym on running days, I still haven’t reached the point in my training that it is fun — at all. But people keep assuring me I will get there. We’ll see.

Thursday I started Week 3, day 1 of the Couch to 5K program, and while I did better than I expected, I wasn’t able to make it through all of the running parts. Today, however, I did! I was pretty pumped. Even though I was dreading going, that feeling made it worth it.

Of course that isn’t making me dread Monday’s run any less.

I think I am starting tolunch get my diet back under control after my slip ups while traveling. That is, and probably always will be, the hardest part.

I wish it were easier to think of the milestones that made me proud of myself before I slip up on the diet. I just need to keep reminding myself that in the long run it will be worth it.

Today’s weigh in had me down 6.2 pounds this week, which I was thrilled about, so overall now I am down 33.2 pounds. I would like to lose another 67 this year, which will me hard, and maybe not possible, but that is my goal.

Posted in 5K, Fitness, Goals, Health, Uncategorized

Making slow, painful progress


There are only so many times one can say “I am starting over again, and this time I am going to succeed” before people stop believing you.

I crossed that line several times ago, yet here I am again.

That’s why this time I wanted to wait until I really got the ball rolling and accomplished something before I post anything on here.

It has been seven weeks today since I started the lifestyle change (again) and I feel like it is time to start writing about it again since it seems to help quite a bit.

Even though I have been at this a while again, the weight isn’t coming off as quickly as I would like (not that it ever does). I am down 13 pounds, but honestly I could definitely be doing better on my food choices, so it is my fault the numbers on the scale aren’t dropping as fast as I would like.

There were two weeks in the middle that I was travelling the whole time, the first week I was in Chicago and managed not to be completely awful on my diet, and was very active exploring the new city.

The second week visiting my parents, wasn’t so pretty. That’s behind me though, and here I am again

I have been pretty good about making it to the gym on a regular basis, despite my busy schedule. Even though I can’t see any difference in my body, I am definitely getting stronger and my endurance is getting better.

I started the Couch to 5 K program again a couple weeks ago. It isn’t easy, it’s slow going and it’s painful and tiring, but slowly I am improving. Today I did week 3, day. I couldn’t quite do 100 percent of the running portions, but I did better than I expected. When I first started a couple weeks ago I seriously struggled to get through the first workout — like, I couldn’t to it. Looking back on that makes me feel better about what I have done in a fairly short amount of time.

My goal is to be in shape enough to jog the YMCA’s Turkey Trot 5K in November. I have set this goal before, and have never succeeded, but hopefully I will this time.

Only time will tell.


Posted in Uncategorized

Getting started again, again

2 day juice cleanse

I feel like I don’t post anything but announcements that I am starting again. It’s aggravating, but I just can’t seem to get going and keep myself going.

I have been feeling so horribly bad about myself lately. I don’t like how I look. I don’t like how I feel. My clothes are starting to not fit again. I hate having my picture taken. I need to do something before things get even more out of control.

I weighed myself this morning and after having lost nearly 70 pounds in 2013-14, I have put 33.8 pounds back on.


I need to do something now.

My clothes look horrible on me but I absolutely refuse to go out and buy a larger size. I need to get back into them.

I went to GNC over the weekend and bought a juice cleanse — something I have never tried before, but having talked to a few people who have tried it, I decided to give it a shot. I am not expecting miracles. I just want to feel better.

I am trying the GNC Total Lean 2-day juice cleanse, and hopefully that will help get my energy up and help me to not feel like a turd. Most of the reviews said it tasted terrible, so I prepared myself for it, but I honestly didn’t think it tasted bad at all. Kind of like apple juice. Basically you drink two bottles of the stuff a day for two days before meals. They also tell you what you should be eating throughout the day. I am going to stick to it somewhat, but I know that if I want to lose weight, I have to cut back on carbs, so I will be modifying the plan a bit. Hopefully I’ll have some kind of an update tomorrow.

I have posted on Facebook that I am starting over again, again and almost instantly got a response from a high school friend that she wants to eat healthier and get in shape, so we are going to help keep hold each other accountable. If anyone else wants to do the same, let me know. The more the merrier.

I know that in order for me to get with the program I need to write. It helps for others to hold me accountable, and it helps for me to do nothing but think about weight loss for the 30 or so minutes it takes for me to write so I need a favor from you. For at least the next two weeks, if you see that I miss a day and don’t write, call me out on it. If I am not writing, I am probably not doing well. It doesn’t need to be a long post, but it needs to be something. I think if I can do well for two weeks, that will get me on a pretty good start.

As much as I hate to do it, I am going to update my progress pictures either tonight or tomorrow so I can get a realistic idea in my head of how far I have slid backward.

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400, 300, 100 Challenge

OK, annoying may not be the right word — that’s just the jealousy talking, but I found myself looking around the gym today thinking pretty much this…

Welp, what I can only assume is the bubonic plague has made its way through my household. After about three weeks of being miserably sick and almost constant coughing, I finally felt good enough to start back at the gym yesterday.

Meanwhile, I'm over here like this...
Meanwhile, I’m over here like this…

I have a really bad habit of trying to make up for lost time by trying to do too much too fast the first time back at the gym.  I didn’t let myself do that this time. I started off slow yesterday by just doing an hour of cardio, 30 minutes on the recumbent bike and 30 minutes on the treadmill.

It felt fantastic to be able to get back to working out, both physically and mentally. I am almost always energized when leaving the gym, and I am always better on my food choices afterward because I don’t want to undo all the work I did.

I even managed to make it back two days in a row, logging 20 minutes on the bike, 20 minutes on the treadmill and some arm exercises. I am still no where near where I was before I fell off the fitness wagon (and was subsequently run over several times by said wagon several times). I am happy with today because exactly zero percent of me wanted to work out today, so getting anything in was a minor victory.

I am a member at the local YMCA, and they have started a 400, 300, 100 mile challenge for 2015. They are challenging members to walk/run 400 miles, or bike 300 miles, or swim 100 miles over the course of 2015. I am hoping to do all three. The swimming will be the hardest part. I will be logging my progress on this blog (probably on a weekly basis).

Progress so far:
Bike, 8.13 miles — walk, 1.64 miles — swim 0 miles.

I would love it if any of you wanted to join me!

I have also started wearing my FitBit again, which really does help to motivate to get those extra steps in.

Weigh in day tomorrow. I am not expecting to lose any weight, I rarely do my second week. As long as the scale doesn’t go up, I will consider this week a success.

Posted in Uncategorized

2014: The year of the good, the bad, and the ugly


Between February-June 2013 I managed to lose 69 pounds. I was feeling and looking better than I had in a very long time.

Then life happened.

In the last year I lost a good friend of mine. I fell in love with a great guy. Got a new job. Moved 6 hours away from my family for the job and the guy. Had some medical issues that required surgery and about 6 weeks of recovery time. We bought a house. I have been learning to be a step-mother for two amazing children.

A lot of amazing things have happened. A lot of not-so-great-things happened. A couple horrible things happened. Whether it was the good, the bad, or the ugly, it was all stressful.

This morning, after spending the last year dieting, not dieting, working out, being lazy, I stepped on the scale for the first time in a while and was not happy about what I saw. I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty, but I wasn’t prepared for the number looking back at me.

I managed to put nearly half the weight I lost back on. It was depressing.

Cottage Cheese Catastrophe
The container of cottage cheese didn’t fair so well in my lunch bag. At least I’ll only have to count half of those calories.

The BF and I decided last week we both needed to start working out and eating healthy again. I spent a good chunk of the day Sunday doing meal prep for the week, making the food necessary to accommodate both of our diets. He can eat more than twice as much as I can in a  day and still lose weight. Lucky bastard. 😉

It is only baby steps, but so far, I have managed to ignore the mammoth box of chocolate covered cherries sitting on the break room table. I’ve been sitting at my desk munching away on my portioned packs of dried soy beans and raw sliced peppers. The container of cottage cheese didn’t fair so well in my lunch bag. At least I’ll only have to count half of those calories.

So here I am again. Starting over again. Again.

I need to make sure this time I keep writing, to hold myself accountable and to give myself nothing to do but think about my diet, exercising and living well for at least a half an hour a day. I need to get in the selfish mode again, where I make the time to go to the gym, eat right, not give in to temptations. I know I can do this, I have done it before. The next week will be the hardest, but I have to do it.

Tonight, regardless of how tired I am, I am going to the gym. I am going to respect my current limitations (the cold that everyone and their mother has) and I am going to at least walk on the treadmill or ride the bike. I am going to do something to get myself moving in the right direction.

And I am going to do it for me.