A devistating blow

It fits.

Early Sunday morning I received devastating news that one of my good friends passed away, from what we now know was a brain aneurism. I was completely heartbroken.

Chris was by far one of the healthiest people I know. He ran 5+ miles a day, ate right, didn’t smoke and didn’t drink much. It just didn’t make any sense. He should have lived until he was 110.

He was also one of my biggest sources for help when I started this weight loss journey. Even though he lived 100 miles away from me in St. Louis, several times a month he would make the trek out to Rolla to work out with me, he would listen to me when I got frustrated and needed to vent, and was a constant source of motivation. Those first few months would have been so much more difficult without his support.

Of course, he was also one of the biggest reasons I was so sore I couldn’t move in the beginning as well. I’ll never forget getting in my car after doing his prescribed arm workout for the first time on my own. I was instantly so sore, I could barely move my arms enough to turn the steering wheel. His solution to me, “If you’re too sore to drive home from the gym, walk.”

Ugh.

He was constantly telling me how proud of me he was, and that really meant a lot to me because I knew he meant it. Days before I moved home to Massachusetts he gave me a new, red St. Louis Cardinals tank top. It was skin tight and not even close to fitting. I packed it away in the back on one of my drawers and forgot about it. Yesterday I was looking for something to wear around the house and came across the tank top. I decided to try it on again. Tears started streaming down my face when I realize that this time, it fit.

I felt like he was cheering me on one last time, letting me know that I can do this.

I know I need to keep doing this now, not only for myself, but because he would want me to finish my goal. For right now though, I just need time to be sad.

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